late twenties - some advice

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10 THINGS I'VE LEARNT DURING MY EARLY-MID TWENTIES 

Get the violins out lads, in July I turned twenty-seven years old. There's something really weird about twenty-seven, suddenly I'm hurtling towards my late twenties with an overdraft and an obsession with trainers, which doesn't feel... enough.

I'm not sure if it was quitting my job, starting to have a conversation about buying a house or the fact that my 16-25 railcard is no longer valid (I'm not over it), but, the past few months have been a rather steep learning curve.

With that in mind, I thought I'd share some (quite possibly useless) advice with you. Because, in complete honesty, I'm not sure any of us know what we're doing.

1) Straight off the bat, I'll reiterate. None of us really know what we're doing. In the same way that you decide what you'll eat in years' time through a wedding invitation, I think it's hard to plan in your early twenties. You might be vegan in a years' time, you might no longer be vegan and the chicken looks really good. Look, you can see where I'm going. It's fine.

2) Fuck clubbing. Your early twenties is the perfect time to start doing more things you like, simply because you like them. I hate clubbing. It has been well documented that I loathe everything from the music to the dazzling array of shit and overpriced drinks, (give me a gig any day) but I used to go them because I felt guilty saying that it wasn't my scene. Now, you'll mostly find me in the pub on a Saturday night, because life is too short for foam parties.

3) Life's too short for the job that you hate. No job is perfect. But, if it's got less pros than cons, might be time to move on. In fact, I quit mine for the above reason.

4) You have to actively break bad habits. When I smoked, I used to have this firm (read irrational) idea that one day, I would awaken to find that I was no longer addicted to nicotine, and no longer wanted to smoke. Sadly, this never happened and it became apparent that I had to work to build better habits.

5) Same with the gym. I dream of being one of those people that LOVES exercising. It has become apparent that I am not one of those people. Yet.

6) Fewer, but better friends. Pretty self-explanatory, if you have a 'friend' that you don't want to be friends with, then move on.

7) Invest in the right things. Things you should spend money on: a bloody good mattress and an even better pillow. Your spine will thank you for it.

8) Reading is really good for the soul. There's something about reading that tunes you out of everything. It's also been proven to help with anxiety, stress and depression. It also does not matter what you read. Books are books, whether you're really into Orwell or Marian Keyes.

9) Don’t buy trends. Trends are trash. Look at every style icon from Alexa Chung to Chloe Plumstead. They all have a ‘look’ that they stick to. They’ll try new bits here and there, but they very much have their own thing going on. Don’t bother with trends. You’ll hate the neon shorts/ tiny sunglasses/ uncomfortable shoes in a month.

10) Crying in your car/ bed/ shower/ the pub is also a-ok. I feel like once every two months, normally on a Sunday, I have some sort of existential crisis. Something akin to that scene in Chicken Little where he starts shrieking that the "sky is falling in" and everyone else is like, no, you're fine. I am Chicken Little, feeling like an irrational idiot as I sob down the phone to my friends and explain that I cut my own fringe and now it looks like a moustache on my forehead (true story).

Whilst in the grand scheme of things, this is a very small problem, it's also a problem. And comparing your issues to other peoples (like every form of comparison) is a complete waste of time.