oh god. I'm unemployed.

 
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Where do you see yourself in five years time? 

It’s one of those standard questions that come up in reviews.

An opportunity for employees to highlight their ambition and desire for progression, for employers to offer training and development. And, sitting in a small glass room on a sunny day, I realised that I didn’t see myself here. Answering that question honestly was followed by one of the most impulsive things I’ve ever done. I handed in my notice to my stable job and decided to go freelance. 

I first thought about freelancing a few years ago. I’d spent about a week working from home due to a really sensitive project and I realised that I liked working on my own.

It’s not that I’m not a people person, but there was something about having more control over my day, my workload that made me feel different. Better? More positive, I suppose. 

And, from then on, I began to pick up side projects. 

A few pitches here and there. Articles and then clients. I never really put anything out there, but it got around as these things do and I loved it. It got to a point where I couldn’t keep up with the work and reluctantly started to pass it over to other freelancers. Which brings us up to the sunny day and the not-so-sunny room. 

I once read that ‘if your dreams don’t scare you, then they’re not big enough’. So, maybe that explains the nauseating fear that has threatened to overwhelm me most days. But, mixed with it is excitement and joy. 

Because, right now, I’m the happiest I have ever been. 

And, maybe that’ll change in a year. There have been plenty of ‘normal’ 9-5 jobs that I have truly loved, working with managers that have changed me for the better. So, I’ll never say that I wouldn’t go back to working full-time, but for now. This feels right. 

So, here’s to taking risks. To tax returns, new friends, a new network and a brand new desk in our spare room (that has rather aspirationally, been labelled as ‘my office’). Hello freelance, I (think) I’m ready for you.